i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
