return my video game
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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