Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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