We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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