we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
third nipple confirmed
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
