I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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