I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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