i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
