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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background

  (443): View more from Maryland

  that only happened once.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital

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• (817): View more from Texas

  In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.

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• (289): View more from Ontario

  Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  who is the naked dude on the coffee table

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void

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• (234): View more from Ohio

  He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!

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