cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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