i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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