My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
