I love black thongs
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
