I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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