His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just forgot I was standing up.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
