The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
