Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
