I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
BRING THE BAGELS
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
