wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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