going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
