I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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