he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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