yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
