we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
