Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
