Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
