we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I can't put those talents on a resume
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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