Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
