I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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