I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
