Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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