I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
