she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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