When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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