I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize