Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
