are you still at the devil's house?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
