Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
