trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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