So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
