Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
