my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i think i just lost a toe
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
