It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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