you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
