69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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