I wish I could teleport
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
