I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I FOUND THE LEGS
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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