Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
