let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
