There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
