We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
