Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Randomize
