spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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