I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
