I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
