Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
