It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
