the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
