did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
