It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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