Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
