I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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