Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
