All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
