I wish i was in the wii world.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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