i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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