That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
